As in so many other leagues and sports, homosexuality is still an absolute taboo subject in the English professional field. Now, on the island, a player has written to the public in an anonymous letter and reported about his serious problems in everyday life.
“I’m gay. It’s a big step for me to even write that in this letter,” said the Premier League kicker, who is not mentioned by name. The letter was written by the Sun published by the Justin Fashanu Foundation. Fashanu was the first player in England to publicly identify himself as gay during his professional career. In 1998, eight years after his coming out, he committed suicide.
His niece Amal Fashanu then set up a foundation to help footballers who are in a similarly difficult situation.
Only his family and a selected group of friends knew about it, the letter continued: “I’m not ready to tell my team or my coach.”
How does it feel to live like this? “In everyday life it can be an absolute nightmare. And it affects my mental health more and more.” He feels “trapped, and I’m afraid that if I tell the truth, it will only get worse.”
“I would love to have a relationship”
On the pitch, he was part of the team. And even though he spends his life with his teammates, “something inside me” makes it impossible for him to open up to them. He is lucky enough to earn a very good salary. And even though his heart tells him that he has to tell his teammates, his head is always different.
“Why should I risk it all? I have a nice car, a closet full of designer clothes and I can afford to buy everything for my family and friends,” wrote the footballer.
What he misses most, however, is “company. I am at an age that I would love to have a relationship with. But because of my job, the level of trust in a long-term partner has to be extremely high. That is why I avoid relationships for him Wait a minute. ”
He believed that football was still ready for an openly gay footballer. “I know that I could get to a point where it will be impossible for me to live a lie. If it does, I plan to quit my career early and come out.
He was aware that this would throw away years of a lucrative career: “But inner peace is priceless. And I don’t want to live like this forever.”