Tuesday, January 19, 2021
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Dear Abby: I found my biological siblings, and they don’t like me or America

DEAR ABBY: I’m an #American man who was adopted as an infant. #Several years ago, I found my birth parents. They are not from #America. #My mother came here to give birth and left. #Sometime later she married my father and had more children. I’m in touch with the entire family, but mainly my birth parents.

#My biological siblings are jealous of my success in life and make it plain they don’t approve of much that I do. They also make sure I know I’m not REALLY part of the family because we didn’t grow up together (although we are, by blood, 100% siblings).

I deal with this the best I can, but now I’m getting flak from them because of my political views. (They saw a photo of me at a political fundraiser.) #When my sister turned 40 this year, I sent her a card, a #Facebook post and a text message. I turned 50 at the same time and heard not a word from her.

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#Although my siblings are not #Americans, they feel the need to trash our country, our government and our way of life. I’m tempted to cut ties with them. There is little respect coming my way, and I think I’ve had enough. I value your opinion, which is why I am writing to you now.

BTW: I had an amazing set of (now deceased) parents and wonderful siblings growing up. I just wish I had a better relationship with my biological family. — DISAPPOINTED AND EXCLUDED

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: #Your family is the family that raised and nurtured you. I, too, am sorry you don’t have a better relationship with these jealous, judgmental people. #You are related by blood — nothing more. They do not have the right to criticize your political views or your lifestyle, any more than you have the right to criticize theirs. (#And I doubt you would.) #Because you are neither respected nor included, you have every right to back off and head in a different, more positive direction. #Frankly, I suspect you will feel better as soon as you do.

DEAR ABBY: I’m a 26-year-old male in a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend, who is 18. I love her to the moon and back, but I feel like she only stays with me because I can buy her things. #She gets upset with me when I don’t get them for her. #She says I value my mother and others before her.

I love her so much, and I want to marry her. I’m a minister at a church. #She thinks she should take priority before my bills and taking care of my mother, who can barely walk. #What do I do? — UNEASY IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR UNEASY: #From what you have written, it appears you are involved with an 18-year-old self-involved gold digger who does seem to be with you only because of what you give her. #She hasn’t yet learned (1) #That a gift should be voluntary and appreciated, rather than extorted, and (2) the way a man treats his mother is the way he will treat his wife.

#Since you asked my advice, here it is: #Close your wallet and ditch this “girl.”

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DEAR READERS: #Well, 2020, a year like no other in recent memory, has drawn to a close! I join you tonight in toasting a 2021 that will be less challenging for all of us. #If you’re celebrating this evening, please take measures to protect your health and the safety of others. — LOVE, ABBY

#Dear #Abby is written by #Abigail #Van #Buren, also known as #Jeanne #Phillips, and was founded by her mother, #Pauline #Phillips. #Contact #Dear #Abby at www.#DearAbby.com or P.O. #Box 69440, #Los #Angeles, CA 90069.

#What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in “What #Every #Teen #Should #Know.” #Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds), to: #Dear #Abby, #Teen #Booklet, P.O. #Box 447, #Mount #Morris, IL 61054-0447. (#Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

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##Dear ##Abby #biological #siblings #dont ##America


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